battling trolls and raising hell
by Cookies and Ink
Summary: Lee knew that the new Defence teacher Professor Umbridge was going to be a problem but with the twins at his side, they could take on anything.


**A/N** : Thank you to Lizzy for being a wonderful beta. Prompts & challenges listed at the bottom so as to not give anything away

Word Count: 2,240

* * *

 **battling trolls and raising hell**

"That's the ugliest troll I've ever seen," Fred said, loud enough that people around them had to hide laughter. Lee grinned and turned to give his friend a look.

"That's the new teacher."

Fred and George both looked gleeful at that and Lee couldn't help but shake his head in amusement as he took a sip of pumpkin juice. He'd missed them over the summer. It always felt as if those seven weeks stretched out to be an eternity when he was away. Being with the twins made everything brighter, easier, even in first year when it had just been the three of them in Gryffindor, they had just clicked instantaneously. Then by the time he'd found the secret passage behind the statue of the hunched witch, they'd been as close as brothers.

'Family doesn't end with blood' defined them; was Fred's favourite phrase.

As the new Defence teacher spoke, all Lee was focussed on were her clothes. Old fashioned and a shade of pink that verged on puce, they made her look like a fondant fancy that had gone off six months ago. As he made eye contact with Fred again, he knew — this was a teacher they could have fun with.

It had been a while. Professor Moody last year had been terrifying, although it had turned out that he was a crackpot. And then Professor Lupin before that, Lee had really liked him too. The twins had only pranked him once and mysteriously, had later been pranked themselves in their own dorms. Lee was adamant that it must have been Professor Lupin but the twins didn't believe him.

They didn't really have to, Lee knew he was right. He'd seen it. It was why he was the only 7th year taking Divination as a NEWT and it was why, as Professor Umbridge, the new Defence teacher, sat back down in her chair, he felt sudden dread wash over him. His vision started to tunnel as he struggled to breathe.

"Lee? You okay?" George said quietly, putting a hand on Lee's back as he shuddered. Lee shook his head but didn't say anything until they were back in the safety of their own dorm. The twins tended to get stopped often and drew a lot of attention. Lee had thought it was the Weasley hair which made them recognisable but it was more than that. Something about Fred and George's presence made Lee feel as though he could spot them in a dark room blindfolded.

Their dorm was clean, which wouldn't last long but when he sat on his bed it was the same soft mattress and worn sheets which helped ground him.

"That teacher… something bad's going to happen."

"What, like she's going to die? Another Quirrell?" Fred asked with a frown and Lee thought about it then shook his head.

"No, not something bad happens to her. She's the cause. She's… she's fucking evil."

They didn't laugh. They'd seen Lee have visions and 'feelings' enough times to know when to take him seriously. But then, when Fred and George looked at each other, having a silent conversation, Lee knew they didn't fully understand.

He was scared. George could see that and he squeezed Lee's shoulder as he sat next to him, Fred dropping down to sit on Lee's other side. But even as the twins talked, and told him it would be fine, that they'd sort it, Lee could see the fire in their eyes.

They were getting ready to wage war. His twins were always ready to fight, and this time, Lee wasn't sure if they would be on the winning side.

* * *

The colour pink was starting to make Lee feel sick.

Perhaps the house elves had realised this because now trifles for dessert were being made with orange jelly instead of strawberry, and the rose garden by Greenhouse Two was suddenly only growing red and white roses.

It was November. Lee was wearing enough knitwear that Molly had given him over the years so he felt like it would be easier to roll him to Hogsmeade than to walk, all thanks to the predicted forecast of more snow. But there was a plus side. Between the three of them, they had seventy-eight galleons in their pockets.

Skiving Snackboxes had been worth it.

Sure, Lee had scars on one leg from where the rash hadn't really faded. But being a guinea pig and testing out the twins' crazy concoctions had always been something he'd looked forward to. Back in fourth year, when he'd gotten turned into a canary, had been one of the coolest things that had ever happened to him. It had made him want to be an animagus before he'd realised just how much work that would entail. He still had dreams of being a black panther, but Lee knew that with his work ethic,it was more likely he'd one day adopt a stray cat and that would be that.

The twins had paid him commission, particularly because it was Lee who'd worked on packaging and some of the marketing, and the three of them were giddy with the fact that they suddenly had money. Lee's situation wasn't the same as the Weasley's, his family did have money but they very rarely spent it on him. The last time he'd gotten a birthday present he'd been excited about was the giant tarantula he got just before his third year. After that, it had been textbooks and a voucher for tutoring sessions amidst lectures on how he had to do well. He was the first Jordan to go to Hogwarts, after all.

N.E.W.T's had added a whole different level of pressure. All Lee kept wishing was for a few days of peace and quiet. Between revising, packaging up Skiving Snackboxes and planning various pranks to play on the Inquisitorial Squad (the most recent one involved tentacles), life had never felt so hectic and relentless.

But today, Lee was determined not to think about any of that. He was going to buy himself a sickening amount of sweets and then a present for his sister, and perhaps a new Dicta-Quill.

"What're you guys getting?" he asked.

"Clothes," George said immediately and Lee groaned.

"Okay, but just make sure they're not so bright that they make my eyes hurt. You already get noticed everywhere we go since you're now verging on infamous."

"I cannot promise anything," George said airily. "Also, we've been infamous since birth. People are just drawn to us."

"Oh shut up. Wait.. you've already ordered them, your new robes? Bloody hell, my poor retinas."

George laughed as Lee feigned a dramatic pose and then Fred slung his arm around Lee's shoulders.

"You know you're seeing more and more things. That's pretty cool. Can you, like, focus it at all yet? Or is it still random?"

"Pretty random… but why? I can try if it'll help with a plan or prank," Lee said slowly.

"It's about the Umbitch. It's been two months and she's a bitch, the clue is in the name but evil? That part's still worrying me. I remember what you said the first night back, Lee. I don't want her to hurt anyone and we've been messing around making people throw up or skip class. Right now she's just a bully but if it escalates it'd be useful to have some pre-warning."

Fred had a look in his eye that made Lee hesitate. He knew the twins, better than anyone else in the world he liked to think, and so he recognised when Fred was being deadly serious. For all their jokes, the two were geniuses, and if Fred was thinking up ways to stop Umbitch and whatever she was planning, it very well might work.

Once again, Lee felt that wave of emotion come over him when he thought about her. It was almost as bad as the Dementors had made him feel. Worse even, because that had locked him in memories of lectures from a disappointed father and being at his Grandmother's bedside when she'd passed away.

This just left him afraid.

"I don't know. But it's dangerous, Fred. She's… there's just something wrong with her," he confessed, voicing some of the anxiety that overcame him every time he made eye contact with the Defence Professor. Lee had never been so glad to not take Defence as a N.E.W.T.

"Maybe she's working for You-Know-Who?" George theorised.

"Would he send in another teacher again? That would be what, the third time? Plus why would he go all stealth when he's doing things blatantly now. There's a time and place for everything, that's what Dad said about the Death Munchers and their stupid plans."

"Well, we definitely wouldn't expect it… Maybe we should write home about it?"

"Nah. They've got enough on their plates," Fred said firmly. "Let me think, okay? But we're going to fight this one on our own. She's come into our school, our home and made it unrecognisable. I'm pretty sure she's hurting people in her detentions and the Inquisitorial Squad can go shove their attitudes up their arse."

Lee wanted to get excited. He wanted to feel the righteous anger that was clearly coursing through the twins' veins. But all he felt was afraid.

The problem with war was that there were always casualties.

* * *

His ears were still ringing from the cheers and fireworks.

From the very beginning, the twins had included him in their Escape Plans, as they called it. He'd willingly helped, because of course, he had, not that they had needed much encouragement. He was their best friend, the shadow at their side. He would do anything for them.

But now he was alone.

So he'd taken the fall for a few of their pranks, including getting detention off Professor McGonagall.

"It wasn't me!" Lee had cried, even as he held fluorescent paint in his hand identical to the paint on the wall.

"I didn't say anything, Mr Jordan. Detention with me tomorrow after class."

With that, McGonagall had walked away and Lee had hesitated.

"Um, do you want me to stop?"

"As I said, Mr Jordan. I did not say anything."

The graffiti had looked incredible if Lee said so himself. He'd gotten little Creevey to take a picture of it he was so proud.

All of that was over.

Lee sat down on his bed, the same soft bed with the well-worn sheets, and felt as though he'd entered into some parallel universe. Nothing felt right. Nothing made sense. He had known the twins were going to leave, he had helped them build fireworks and only burnt his hand twice. He had applied strengthening charms to their brooms to make sure they could break through chains or doors if needs be.

He had known this was going to happen.

So why then, did he feel as though he'd been hit by an Erumpent in heat?

Lee put his head in his hands and squeezed his eyes closed. The worst thoughts in his mind were playing over and over; they would move on. They had never needed him. They were on their own now and Lee would be just a memory.

So he tried to focus. He thought about the twins, he thought about himself. At first, there was nothing, no vision, no emotion to hint at any sort of premonition. And then as his thoughts drifted, once again, to the woman who'd been the root cause for all of this, Lee braced himself for that wave of evil.

It never came.

Instead, he felt fire and fury. Lee thought about it for a while, about how he'd always wanted to fight like the twins and then about what they'd said they wanted him to do.

"I know it'll be weird, you being on your own here without us but it's really not that long until the end of term, Lee," George had said, packing a bag. "Just focus on your NEWTs and then meet us at the shop, okay? By then we'll have matching motorcycles and truly become hellraisers."

Lee nodded but hadn't really thought about it.

"You're always going to be one of us," Fred had echoed. "So just keep fighting the good fight, yeah? It'll be good for me anyway. With all the rubbish people keep sticking in my head, it's a wonder that there's room for my brain."

Again, Lee had nodded. He'd even smiled and laughed.

But now he finally understood.

Rubbing a hand over his face, Lee glanced around the empty dorm that had never been so quiet. He was alone, but he knew how he could help. He knew that Umbitch was trouble and it would be wrong of him to just ignore that. So he was going to fight, just like the twins had. Then he was going to meet them in the shop over the summer and everything would be back to normal.

The three of them would be together again.

"I'm going to have some stories to tell you both," Lee said, looking at the beds that Fred and George had still managed to leave unmade, sheets strewn everywhere. "I'm going to do you both proud. That troll isn't going to know what's hit her."

Hogwarts was a battlefield now and Lee was finally ready to become the hellraiser he was destined to be.

* * *

 **A/N** : Other prompts and challenges entered are as follows:

\- Assignment #5: Astronomy Task #1 - Write about someone who is easily recognisable.

\- Caffeine Challenge: Turkish Coffee - (dialogue) "Family don't end with blood."

\- Cooking Club: Butter - (emotion) delighted, (word) forecast

\- Library Lovers: Every Heart A Doorway - (word) statue, (characters) twins, (colour) black.

\- The Forty Day Challenge: No romance.

\- March Scavenger Hunt: Write a fic about Lee Jordan.

\- Jewel Challenge: Hermatite - Ring: Write about someone who people are naturally drawn to, Bracelet: Write a fic set on a battlefield, Necklace: Write about someone who could do with a little less stress in her life.

\- Character Appreciation: 15. Playing Pranks.

\- Disney Challenge: Ursula - (word) Tentacles

\- Book Club: Cliff Ackerly: (word) bully, (trait) popular, (plot point) getting revenge.

\- Showtime: 13. I Move ON - (theme) write about being fearless

\- Days of the Month: True Confessions Day - Write about someone confessing someone.

\- Count Your Buttons: (word) Encouragement

\- Lyric Alley: 6. If you're afraid of falling, then don't look down.

\- A Year in Entertainment: 'Can't Stop Loving You by Van Halen - (dialogue) "There's a time and place for everything"

\- Television Show of the Month: Spike: (item) motorcylce, (action) drinking, (dialogue) "With all the rubbish people keep sticking in my head, it's a wonder that there's room left in my brain"

\- Liza's Loves: 4. Time Breaker - Write about twins


End file.
